I appreciate your candor in what you shared. What an inspiration you are. I see you in the struggle yet, you continue to look for the light. I have a personal question for you. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't feel comfortable answering. Do you have Bipolar I or Bipolar II? I have Bipolar I. I know it is very dark. when I descend into the darkness after a mania The last time I experienced visual and auditory hallucinations. It is nothing like the TV telling me to kill somebody or anything like that. Most of mine are like seeing shadows, black objects. I hear whispers about how horrible I am and how it is better off not living. I believe they are demonic. The Word of God makes me feel condemned, so I stop reading it. I try to read my favorite verses, but even that is hard. I just thought I would tell you that I am amazed at your outlook during your dark times. If you need someone to write to or just to pray for you, my email is 7debm.cr@gmail.com. Have a blessed day of grace. Remember, God gives us enough grace to get us through every day of our lives, no matter how bleak they look. This I know. One of the things I try to keep in mind during those times is to make sure I don't judge my days as "good" or "bad". They are days filled with opportunities. God gives us the grace to face these opportunities with His strength. Another thing I learned when my mother was dying in hospice of liver failure was to choose joy. It was a rough six months with her. A bad liver creates ammonia throughout her body. It would go to her brain and act like dementia. One minute she would be with it and 30 minutes later she would be in a dream world where she would only know what her dreams were made of. I got us both a plaque that said, "Choose Joy". The first time I had to tell her she was dying, I showed her the plaque and shared with her that no matter what happened, we were both going to choose joy because she was going to be in the presence of Jesus soon. After that, I realized that I am always in the presence of Jesus and I can always choose joy. I kept the plaque when she died and I keep it on my desk to remind me.
Thanks for sharing the “real” - you’re right, you’re not the only one!
I appreciate your candor in what you shared. What an inspiration you are. I see you in the struggle yet, you continue to look for the light. I have a personal question for you. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't feel comfortable answering. Do you have Bipolar I or Bipolar II? I have Bipolar I. I know it is very dark. when I descend into the darkness after a mania The last time I experienced visual and auditory hallucinations. It is nothing like the TV telling me to kill somebody or anything like that. Most of mine are like seeing shadows, black objects. I hear whispers about how horrible I am and how it is better off not living. I believe they are demonic. The Word of God makes me feel condemned, so I stop reading it. I try to read my favorite verses, but even that is hard. I just thought I would tell you that I am amazed at your outlook during your dark times. If you need someone to write to or just to pray for you, my email is 7debm.cr@gmail.com. Have a blessed day of grace. Remember, God gives us enough grace to get us through every day of our lives, no matter how bleak they look. This I know. One of the things I try to keep in mind during those times is to make sure I don't judge my days as "good" or "bad". They are days filled with opportunities. God gives us the grace to face these opportunities with His strength. Another thing I learned when my mother was dying in hospice of liver failure was to choose joy. It was a rough six months with her. A bad liver creates ammonia throughout her body. It would go to her brain and act like dementia. One minute she would be with it and 30 minutes later she would be in a dream world where she would only know what her dreams were made of. I got us both a plaque that said, "Choose Joy". The first time I had to tell her she was dying, I showed her the plaque and shared with her that no matter what happened, we were both going to choose joy because she was going to be in the presence of Jesus soon. After that, I realized that I am always in the presence of Jesus and I can always choose joy. I kept the plaque when she died and I keep it on my desk to remind me.